Friendship and Love

I think of things in a singularly analytical way. Friendship is a difficult concept for one who is at ease with physics. Physics is law-driven. Quantum physics often abandons absolute for the realm of probability.

Friendship – that is a problem with far too many variables to compute. It requires two sides to the equation, both must balance. The experiment must be run in the blind. There is no control.

You may be a good friend, but your friendship may be wasted on another for reasons outside the realm of understanding. Your friendship may be rejected because of what your father did for a living, the color of your skin, the religion that you practice, even the size of your nose! It may be that the “friend” is simply not looking for a friend that day.

How, in such a difficult field of study, with such a diverse array of data, so many variables, can anyone ever calculate the probability of success?

After deep consideration, I have come to the following determination; friendship, like love, is outside of the bounds of calculability. Like fishing, you must cast forth your effort without any understanding of probability of success. You must try, and fail, and try again, or you must give up and be without. I would that it were different, but, alas, it never was.

The question, then becomes this; Can one be a good friend to another who is not a good friend to you? I believe that it is possible. It is a net loss game, and hard to play, but, perhaps, nonetheless, worth while. I suppose that I can drive myself to act as a friend, devoid of reciprocation.

For some of us, analysis of a field of data is easy. for some, feelings are alien and uncomfortable. Our mind seeks to solve. There is nothing to solve with such a problem, resulting in frustration.

As we get older, we become “settled in our ways” we become self-centered, our world sinks into an ever-smaller sphere until, at last, the lights go out. If we are to live a full life, we must fight this evolution. We must “rage against the dying of the light”. We must act like the young, open to exploration and stimulus, we must travel, experience, experiment.

In a recent writing of mine, my readers pointed out the truth that friendships form with great difficulty as we get older. Everyone has friends already – many need no more. In a world that is digressing, others may not want to assume change and the associated liabilities of a friendship or a relationship.

From wallpaper galley.com

Friendship and love are, after all, similar. Perhaps they differ in intensity, or kind of emotion, but these are simple differences.

 

I watched my sister die, and I remember promising myself that I would make it a point to tell those who I love, friends and family, that I love them. If I could see my sister only for an instant again, those are the words that would pass my lips “I love you” it is the greatest thing that one can say. I hope that I now say these words to everyone who I care for in this wonderful life.

Scott Cahill